Wisdom of Pirateology

Pirate Andy has collected all the remaining True Pirate Texts together and distilled their essence into easily understandable writings as well as adding his own thoughts on Pirates and life in general.  These writings will guide you on your quest to have a complete understanding of Pirates and Pirateology on your journey to Planet 333.  Most importantly, what Pirate Andy will teach you will make You a better Pirate each and everyday of your life.....  An amazing, exciting and super-long life if you have the courage to "stay the path" and reach Level 1.  For then the way to Planet 333 will be revealed to you.

Live as you want, do as you please when amongst drunkards for tomorrow it will be forgotten.

It is not whether the glass of beer is half full or half empty but is there another one on its way.

Slow and steady will rarely win a race of any kind.

A beer in the hand is worth two hundred in the toilet.

Buy a man a keg of beer and he will not be thirsty today. Teach a man to brew and he will never go thirsty.

To reach the stars one must first have their feet firmly on the ground… and a spaceship.

Beer fixes all the problems that sobriety brings.

The greatest gift a man may receive, apart from beer, is children so that they may bring him beer.

A sober man in a bar is friendless whilst a drunk has many friends… unless he is a dickhead.

From the mouths of babes comes much truth. From the mouths of drunks comes mushth trwugth.

Ninja’s are gay!

There is no more noble a profession than to be a pirate…. Except perhaps being a professional noble.

Work hard and be fair and you will be rewarded in time. Pillage and drink and the rewards are yours today.

Some think that heaven and hell are real. The only reality is here and now… and it is to be avoided as much as possible.
(Some think that psycho killer clowns are real....      they are right.)

Never put off today what should have been completely weaseled out of yesterday.

To err is human; to err because of drunkenness is pirate.

Lusty wenches are the cherries on the top of the sundae of life.

Grog is not the only path to happiness but it is the fastest and best.